I Actually Chased My Dreams for 7 Years - Here’s What No One Tells You
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7 years ago I sat at a little desk in a small shabby hostel in Korea.
I was traveling, but was up at an odd hour because I was submitting the final applications for physical therapy school.
That was what I wanted to do with my life - I was sure of it.
Fast forward 7 years later, and I’m here in front of you talking to a camera about photography and life.
So you might be wondering…how did I end up here?
If this is your first time here, I’m Andre.
I run this blog, which is mainly about photography, but will occasionally talk about productivity, philosophy, and other life related things.
And I’m currently 7 years into the process of “chasing my dreams”.
As someone who’s still in the thick of it, here’s what no one tells you.
Making the Jump
My “dream” was never to become a photographer, or even a YouTuber really.
I moreso began this journey because I wanted a career independent of others.
Independent of a soul sucking office job where you had to clock in to do the same pointless work every single day and listen to someone dumber than you tell you what to do.
I wanted some kind of financial freedom where I could make money doing something I enjoyed, or at least by my own means.
So for me, YouTube was the way out.
I first started YouTube in early 2019 with a channel on physical therapy.
I wanted to share what I knew about injuries, how to overcome them, and how to get your body working right pain-free.
It wasn’t a serious path yet, but it was something I thought could make a little money to replace a part time job and help me practice my teaching.
Fast forward to later that year, I was rejected from the few schools I applied to, and waitlisted for one.
I now had a tough decision to make:
Spend another year making my application better or put all my energy and effort into making videos.
Mind you, I only had about 30 subscribers at the time, and my videos were pretty bad, getting almost no views.
So either I was crazy, stupid, or both - I don’t know.
Back then it was probably one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, because it would determine everything that happened downstream.
My conditioning told me to try again for graduate school.
If you’ve grown up in or around an Asian household, you know how true this is.
For us, the only real career paths are: doctor, engineer, IT, or anything that makes money.
And going off and telling your parents you want to talk to a camera as a job is probably the very last thing they’d want to hear.
But my gut told me to double down and commit to YouTube.
You see the year before, I made a promise with myself.
I said I’d give it my all on these applications, but I’d only get one shot.
That way I would take it seriously and not slack off thinking I had unlimited tries.
In retrospect, giving myself a second chance would have probably been okay, but I didn’t wanna break that promise.
Thinking back on it, deep down I probably always wanted to go the YouTube route.
After 15 years running through the education system, I was tired of school.
And in my short time making videos, I was oddly committed.
I never missed a week of uploads and teaching myself things from editing to filming felt oddly natural.
For the first time in a long time it felt like I was doing something I was meant to do, I just didn’t think it was okay to pursue.
You see, growing up I was always somewhat creative.
I read a lot of books, drew often, and wrote stuff just because.
I was no musician, but writing and visual arts came naturally.
But even though I was decent at it, I never saw it as a real way to make money and survive in the world.
“The Starving Artist”, that’s the common trope.
Again, my thoughts were influenced by my parents and society.
So throughout the entirety of high school and college, I closed that door.
I focused on the left side of my brain, studied the maths and sciences, and stopped doing creative stuff.
I wasn’t bad at it, but nothing really clicked, or ever felt as easy/good.
This period of time actually helped me greatly, but we’ll talk about that in a different article.
The point is, it wasn’t until I started making videos that I rediscovered the side of me I had closed off.
I’m sure there are many of you who feel similarly about something, whether it’s photography, art, or music.
It’s feels natural, you’re oddly good at it (you learn and pick up things faster than others would), and you can do it for hours on end without getting distracted or tired.
It’s easier to focus, lock in, and you have all these different ideas of new things you want to make.
You’re motivated, energized, and doing the thing is self-reinforcing.
That’s a clue - a clue on what you should be doing in life.
A clue based on your natural aptitude, the way your brain works, and where you’ll have the most success and fulfillment.
Those are the talents you were given and we spend so much of our lives ignoring them - because either we don’t believe we can or we don’t have permission to do so.
And then we waste our lives rotting in a meaningless job with mediocre wages to pay for things that will never fulfill us.
That’s ultimately why I made the jump.
Because I was scared of waking up when I was old and realize I had wasted my life doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
But the story doesn’t just end there.
You see most people will say all the things I just said to encourage others to chase their dreams.
But they never tell you what happens next.
The common assumption is: make the jump and voila, you’re successful.
But for the past 7 years, I’ve been finding out what that part actually looks like.
Disclaimer: it’s not as great as you’d think.
What Chasing Your Dreams Actually Looks Like
So now you might be thinking:
“Great Andre, you finally decided to go for it. You broke through your previous conditionings, the mental barriers, and are now chasing your dreams.
It’s all sunshine and rainbows from there on out, right?”
Wrong.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, that’s not how it works.
You see, 7 years in and counting, and I’m still “chasing those dreams”.
I’m better at the stuff than I was before, and have accomplished some things I can be proud of, but nothing near the level you might expect.
At the time of writing, on YouTube we have about 17.6k subscribers, which is amazing, I’m not complaining, and I’m thankful for everyone here.
But if you told my previous self it’d take me 7 years to get to where I am now, I’m not so sure I would have done it.
Now there are a lot of different things I’ve learned, gained, and grown from this path that aren’t in the form of subscribers or money, but we’ll talk about that later.
Here’s what chasing your dreams actually looks like:
It’s waking up day in and day out doing the work, grinding, pushing yourself, only to fail perpetually with minimal results.
And then you wake up the next day and do it all over again, convincing yourself that this one will be better.
It’s actually being accountable for your actions because you can’t just lazily clock in and get a biweekly paycheck - you have to earn it.
It’s every now and then making something that does well, thinking you’ve done it, and then the next few months are quiet.
It’s looking at other creators, some of them not even better than you, doing the exact same thing as you, saying the same lines, word for word, bar for bar, or many times worse, but getting 10x the results.
And then it’s reminding yourself that results don’t matter, it’s about the process and consistency, while still needing the results to validate your path and survive.
It’s a constant navigation between doing something you want to do that makes no money and “selling out” - doing something you could care less about just to eat.
Which in that case, isn’t so different from the other path.
It’s constantly second guessing your choices at least once or twice a month saying, “Man I should just get a real job.”
It’s looking at all your other friends, seeing them move forward in the world, getting high paying jobs, getting married, building families, feeling good for them but at the same time, a little shitty about yourself.
They say they envy you, but…the grass is always greener, right?
It’s perpetually saying no to all the friends that invite you to do stuff because you simply can’t afford it and need to focus on your work.
It’s trying to explain to relatives and strangers what you do, and accepting the judgement that comes with it, because you know they won’t get it.
It’s many fights with your parents about your career path, explaining over and over again why this is what you have to do and why it’ll work, it just takes time.
And this is nothing against my parents, they have been as supportive as they could be.
And I understand that they’re just worried and want the best for me - and if I were in their shoes I’d probably do the same thing.
But that’s a unfortunate reality you might face.
Now I can go on and on but, that’s a peek at what chasing your dreams actually looks like.
This is not me complaining about my circumstances or “lack of success”.
I’ve come to terms with the path that I’m on and I’m just highlighting a simple fact:
“Chasing your dreams” is not nearly as glamorous as people make it out to be.
The many success stories you see in your feed about some guy/girl quitting their job and all of the sudden making 6 figures in a year “chasing their dreams” is the extreme minority.
You see, for every successful creator online telling you to chase your dreams, there’s 1000 other creators who did, and failed - or are still failing.
The reason why I think everyone is so obsessed with telling others to “chase their dreams” is because:
it sounds good and gets views
it worked out for them so they want to encourage others (albeit rarely highlighting the hard side of it)
you can tell someone to chase their dreams, not have to do anything about it, and not have to take responsibility for what happens after
But let’s not ignore the second order effects here.
Chasing your dreams is hard - really fucking hard.
It’s hard even if you think you’re on the right path and are good at what you do.
That never gets emphasized enough.
Everyone wants to talk about the rewards on the other side and never the cost or price of getting there.
And no one seems to tell you that “chasing your dreams” isn’t just a mere 1 year journey.
For most people, it’ll be at least 10 years, if not 20 years, or a lifetime.
And if you’re not willing to commit that much time to it, “chasing your dreams” might not be for you.
People don’t tell you these things because if they did, they might be called a hater.
But this isn’t me putting you down or saying you can’t do it, I’m just sharing my experience.
To chase your dreams means to suffer, only in a different way than at your 9-5 job.
Social media is skewed towards the successful.
Creators will glorify the idea of chasing of your dreams - because it worked out for them.
But if it didn’t work out for them, they wouldn’t be talking to you right now.
Similarly, social media never accounts for the vast majority of people who did chase their dreams and it didn’t work out.
Those who quit, failed miserably, or gave up are never accounted for.
Why? Because they didn’t make it so they’re not talking to you right now.
But I think that number is hundreds if not thousands of times more than those who’ve actually succeeded.
Is It Still Worth It?
So now you might be thinking:
“Well f*ck Andre.
If chasing my dreams is as bad as you make it out to be then…
Maybe I’ll just stay at my shitty job for the rest of my life and be miserable.”
That’s certainly an option but….it’s not what I’m saying.
I also don’t think the world owes us anything, and that we somehow deserve success for making the jump.
Or even that other creators have somehow misled us and that they should take responsibility for our failures.
I’m not saying any of that - that would be silly.
Obviously I still think the whole thing is worth it or else I would have quit by now.
And there are many great benefits I’ve gotten from chasing my dreams and building this life.
They’re not in the form of money, but some would consider them invaluable or priceless.
But that’s my personal decision based on who I am - you’re a different person.
So I’ll share them with you and then you can come to an informed decision yourself.
First, I no longer struggle with meaning or lack a sense of purpose.
I know what I’m going to do every single day and why I’m going to do it - and it’s fulfilling.
Second, I no longer care if people approve or disapprove of the path I’m on because I understand that they don’t know me like that.
And they lack goals or ambitions themselves so it makes sense they wouldn’t get it.
Third, I get to choose what I work on and what I say no to.
I no longer have to show up anywhere at a certain time to do meaningless work - rather, I can create and design my own schedule.
Sure I still have to work hard, but it’s hard work I chose to do, on stuff I care about.
I have the blessing of an empty calendar, which doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything, rather that I have clarity and freedom.
I get to wake up without an alarm clock, because my work is based on what I get done, not how long I’m at the office.
Good sleep does wonders for your mental health and clarity by the way.
And yeah I don’t have a high paying job, but I’m reminded often by peers, how many of them hate their lives because of what they do.
Because many things aren’t as great as they seem and trading time for money is an expensive transaction.
Furthermore, I’ve had the opportunities to travel and live experiences that I’ll remember for the rest of my life - and I don’t have to ask for time off.
I’ve sold plenty of prints and books that now live in the houses of people all across the world - and that’s pretty fucking awesome.
I feel different than other people, but it’s my true self being expressed, and I like myself.
These are just some of the many benefits that come with chasing your dreams and…they’re pretty great.
But maybe I’m just telling myself that so the last 7 years doesn’t feel like a complete waste of time, right?
It’s easy to look at the timeline and feel bad about myself for where I’m at in life.
But when I remind myself that no one has it figured out and there is no right way to live life, I can shut up and live mine.
So if you’re at a crossroad right now, what should you do?
Well I’d love to tell you to just go for it, but I can’t honestly say that knowing what I know now, and without knowing you personally.
I also don’t have all the answers - I’m still figuring out a lot of it myself.
But here’s what I can tell you:
The biggest lesson you need to understand about chasing your dreams is called “chosen suffering”.
As you might have realized, whichever path you choose will suck in some way.
But it’ll also be good in some way.
I’m sure 7 years ago, if I had decided to stay on track and kept reapplying, I’d eventually have made it to graduate school.
And I’d be living that life, doing that work, and would have been both happy and sad either way.
What both paths have in common is choice.
When we choose the path and make the decision for ourselves, the suffering we experience as a result is less painful.
But if I were forced to do something involuntarily, I’d feel remised, because someone else chose it for me.
So the antidote is to either make the decision for yourself, or convince yourself it was your decision.
Because if you’re going to suffer in life anyways, it might as well be the suffering of your choosing, right?
The real question you have to ask yourself is:
Would you rather suffer now for trying or would you rather suffer later for never trying?
Either way you’re going to suffer - so logic says you might as well try.
Most people procrastinate on the hard stuff and that’s why they’re filled with regret in their later years.
But if you try and fail, at least you can close the door and live the rest of your life with no regrets, right?
I personally prefer to suffer now rather than later, because imagining the pain of sitting there when I’m old telling myself, “I should have gone for it” while no longer being able to, terrifies me.
That feels like the worst case scenario: wanting to do something, but no longer capable of doing so.
Obviously if you’re the type of person who doesn’t mind having a steady job, doesn’t have great ambition, or doesn’t think they’ll regret it later, you don’t have to do it.
It’s definitely possible for your dream to be enjoyed on the side as a hobby.
And I’m sure there are some that don’t have big dreams to begin with.
You don’t have to chase it just because everyone says you should.
And you don’t need to be super successful, famous, or rich doing it.
In many cases you’ve actually won the game, because you’ve escaped the race.
In essence, “chasing your dreams” isn’t for everyone - it’s for some people.
If you’re like me and decide to go for it, don’t expect it to be quick, easy, or glorious.
Chasing your dreams is hard for a reason - because anything worth getting will be hard.
And if it weren’t hard, everyone would do it.
If you don’t decide to go for it, that’s perfectly okay.
Not everyone has to chase their dreams.
Just understand what kind of person you are so you don’t regret it later.
But who knows? I’m just a guy who talks to a camera all day.
Maybe in 5 or 10 years I’ll be another one of those creators telling you with great irony to “chase your dreams - it’s worth it”.
Or maybe you won’t see me again because I’ll disappear from the face of the earth if I didn’t make it.
We’ll just have to wait and see.
Tldr, chase your dreams if you tend to regret things and are willing to work hard for a long time; don’t chase your dreams if you’re not.
And if you’ve gotten this far and still don’t know what to do, flip a coin…
Anyways, I hope you found this helpful.
If you have a friend who’s currently making a difficult decision in life - send them this, it might help.
Also if you’re into photography, subscribe and stick around, that’s what the channel’s about.
I share with you all the things I know about photography as well as lessons I’m currently learning.
I’ve also got a few courses like Photography Systems and Photography Essentials to help you improve in the links down below, check them out.
Thanks for reading, happy shooting, I’ll see you in the next one.
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